An Autobiography for the Last 8 Months

I figure if I had anything to do with 15 minutes to do with my life, I'd want to hear about myself. So it's only natural that other people do too. Search no more—here it is.

I've been practicing for the LSAT since February (which is the strangest-spelled month of them all. We say Feb-no R-uary and write febRuary. Anyways...). I've done around 35 practice tests so far (3 hours a piece), plus countless hours of drilling and attending class while neglecting classes, friends, and Sportscenter. Because of that, I have possibly one of the most intimate

knowledges of a very quiet section on the first floor of the Harold B. Lee Library that anyone in this school ever has, and I've come to despise anyone coming down there and making noise, such as breathing.

I also am growing in my paranoia about the test. I now wear a certain pair of shoes each time I take it, but take them off for the first three sections and put them on for the next two. I onlylisten to songs with the simplest of melodies before taking a test, like Dynamite by Taio Cruz, because i'm bound to have a song get stuck in my head and pray that it's not a distracting one (e.g.- Phantom of the Opera. Instead of thinking how arguments were flawed, I was trying to remember the words to "Masquerade." It was a terrible test.) I think I'm narrowing it down to wearing a certain pair of jeans, and possibly a specific shirt too. I'm also terrified that something traumatic will happen before the test, such as instantaneously going bald. I wouldn't even be mad at instantaneously being bald, I'd just be absolutely livid that it happened before my test.

In all though, prepping for the LSAT has been a great experience. Even though I could've easily learned a 3rd language with that effort, it's been an opportunity for me to exhibit my work ethic to, well, really, to just myself. It also proved that I have the ability to excel and improve in something genuinely difficult. Hopefully I can just do well on October 9th (October- a normally spelled month) when it comes down to it, so I can go to UW.

I coached a tee-ball team too, but that's already been documented.

School has started again. For my Spanish literature class, I decided to take a teacher who I knew was more difficult, but who I thought just taught a superior class, through insights and materials, than anyone else. Let me repeat that. I, of my own volition and will, chose a teacher who I knew would be harder than others.

I'm just kinda waiting to be translated to heaven right now for my shocking maturity...

Didn't happen. Anyways, that class, to no-one's surprise, is tough. My other classes—poetry, composition, business (smarminess), religion—are not too bad. But I'm always reminded how much I like my major.

In addition to that, I'm still working. It's for the Multicultural Office (of course I can be in there even though i'm white) writing for the Eagle's Eye. I have been promoted to Editor-in-total-awesomeness-and-chief recently though, which brings more responsibility and... well, no co-current pay increase. But I enjoy the extra responsibility and the opportunity to write Editor-in-Chief on my law school applications.

And dating! Yes! Dating! Well, like a game of baseball in the 14th inning, it actually can be exciting at times but mostly you just wish it was already over, and everyone, when they're being honest with themselves, wants to just leave the stadium, drive home, and sleep.

Wow. That baseball analogy was good. When I use that again in real life, act like you heard it for the first time. And laugh.

Speaking of laughter, I want to mention my car. It's a 94 Buick, and it's just not as mighty as it once was. I tried to drive up to a ski resort the other day, and it started misfiring and only going 10 m.p.h. until finally I pulled over and it started smoking like... well, an analogy is not coming to me, but it started smoking like a 94 Buick when it's done trying. I'll put "large hills" on things not to attempt with it.

If you're a fervent follower of this blog (I'm doubtful...), than you already know all my friends are married. So I decided with one year left at BYU, I'd just stay in the same complex and move upstairs, keepin' things simple. My new roommates turned out to be great, and we always hit the clubs on Friday nights and get hyphy. Kidding. But yeah, they're nice guys.

New ward too. I'm quickly, and unintentionally, establishing myself as the "funny guy." Apparently I'm already the "funny guy" to some. This comes with some pressure. I'm not the stand-up comedian kind of funny, so I think if people come with that expectation, it'll be hard to please them. It's more of a smoldering, sexy kind of funny, and that really doesn't come out until I know the person more. And anyways, personally, I'd prefer to be known as "that really smart guy," or "the guy that's just in general great to be around," or just "the Situation." Someday...

So anyways, I gave a talk in church, hit some funny notes, and sat down. I try to be funny to hide the fact that I'm so nervous that I'm shaking up at the podium. I had people telling me I'm funny the rest of the day. One guy even repeated some of the things that I had said, as if their hilarity had escaped me. Really, it's fine being the funny guy, but it's just so one-dimensional. Maybe if I work on it, "Renaissance man" will catch on.

GOODNESS. I think that took up at least 10 minutes of your time. It's late at night, I really had a lot on my mind and really, writing like this is kinda therapeutic. I don't have to think about a thesis and all that jazz, it just kinda comes. But yeah, here you go Elder (Brandon) Pedersen, this is the best response you'll ever get to writing "how's life?" on a Facebook wall. Ever. And stay away from the wax... Trust me, it hurts.

I Belong to the West Coast

I can remember when I stopped plotting to transfer to UCSB my freshman year here at BYU. It was at Thanksgiving. The fact that everyone here was Mormon wasn't freaking me out quite as much as when I had arrived, and also, everyone I knew from Utah invited me to go eat Thanksgiving dinner with them and their family. Really nice, I think. So anyways, that outpouring of brotherly love preempted a sudden flight to California.

Now that I'm back from my mission, I really like BYU. The girls here are clean, it's the means by which the greatest football team ever can exist, and my friends aren't drunk and puking. Like ever. But every time I go back to the West Coast, It just feels right. Most recently, this happened in both Portland and Seattle, but it's true for all of it. Well, let me qualify that. SoCal isn't really my thing. I have nothing against beaches and sunshine. In fact, I really like them, but I just am smitten with the hippy-esque, tattooed, multiple pierced, granola, far-left people from SF on north. I'm also a big fan of the grassy hills and forests. It's just a nice thing to have.

So yeah, going to Grad School is nice that way. I can (to some extent) control where I end up. I don't really know for sure where that'll happen, when I'm honest with myself, but I hope it works out like I want it to.

Rad/Super un-rad

So, in life recently things have been boiling down to two different categories for me- Rad, and super un-rad.

Let me break it down.

RAD

- UW. Purple has never been part of my color wheel, but it might be in a couple months here. I was able to run over to the Law School over there, and man, it's nice. I was also able to check out the campus too, and while I was laying down in the quad between six stately buildings, on a cloudless day with the sun lazily dripping in through the leaves of the shady tree i was laying under, i thought, "If God doesn't want me to go here, He really dropped the ball today."

Gates Hall, or, the law school.

The whole campus looks how I'd always imagine a campus would look like. Not that I dislike BYU's immaculate stretch of cemented property, but UW had those classic buildings with ornate facades, long shady paths across green, slightly over-grown lawns, awe-inspiring views and the water just a block from campus. As well as a super nice-looking law school.

RAD

- BYU football starts up soon. Besides giving my life deep significance, it also means that each Saturday for the next few months I'll have something that directs unparalleled joy into my life. The only potential downside to this is the possibility that they could lose a game, which often leads to an invasive sense of ennui for the following week.

RAD

- Portland. Rip City is really looking great. First time I've really been there, and I just like that whole area. I've decided I love greenery and trees with the occasional mountain (Pacific Northwest anyone?) and Portland is just that. Also, word is that it doesn't rain quite as much as it does in Seattle, which I'm sure loses it's novelty after three weeks of downpour.

SUPER UN-RAD

- Moving. So around 2:30 Friday morning, when I was trying to put the closet door back together for the third time and it just fell apart right when I thought I had it, I may or may not have wanted to sit down on the floor and sob for 20 seconds before falling into a deep sleep and forget about waking up for an 8 a.m. flight. That I instead simply muttered something about how dumb closet doors are and fell asleep in my bed shows the mettle i'm made of. Really though, the whole process kinda stunk and took forever, and was possibly exacerbated by an idyll visit to In-N-Out about midway through it. I made it though.

SUPER UN-RAD

- KFC. I just can't stand it. I know I eat greasy, unhealthy and potentially life-threatening foods on a regular basis (and even revel in the fact) but I just despise that jolly colonel and his greasy bags chuck full of fried who-knows-what.

SUPER UN-RAD

- All my friends are married. To look on the bright side, I'm getting really good at two things; being the focus of attention of two people when I go visit one of my buddies and their respective wife, and finding, with ever-increasing wit and hilarity, ways to respond to the question, "Well, when is it your turn Bryce?" But on the other side, there's a moment after my friends are eternally sealed to their better half and they're joking around with the broskis, when I think- It just won't be the same. And it's true. So even though I keep losing about two friends a year, the prospect of instantaneously gaining 5 or 6 friends again when i get married (someday) is pretty exciting.

A couple of un-hitched guys looking at the guy who just got hitched.

And a brief aside- 1- I love going to these weddings. They're way fun and I think it's great to support my friends. 2- Dan, you're still my friend even if you aren't married. I'm just generalizing here.

The Fat is the Best Part

Having worked as a writer since January, and being a student who considers his strong suit to be writing, much fuss has been made over editing out "fat." I'll illustrate my position on this with a largely irrelevant analogy. Fat in writing is like fat in meat. When I was a child, I generally despised this fat because Americans don't know how to cook fat (although whatever my mother cooked was great). Or maybe its just that fat is just not appropriate for American meals. Whatever. When I went to Argentina, I discovered that fat was God's gift to those who truly loved meat. It's slightly crunchy almost, and full of flavor. You end up wanting a bit on each bite, and in your dreams steaks dance across your subconscious.

I've also found it is the same in writing. There are those things that just cannot abide fat, or perhaps just can't include it because of the preferences of those eating it. Journalism, I think, would fall into this category. It's all about opening up the reader's mouth and turning on a fire hose. Same deal with academic papers. Really though, that would be like having fat on a tomato. Just something you don't want to be eating in the first place. But anyways, with literature I really do enjoy that bit of fat. When the prose is just something lyrical and beautiful (and well done), sometimes it seems that the novel is merely the catalyst of bringing together that kind of writing, instead of the other way around. So openly, I’ll admit I love literature that is a bit indulgent. I love the prepositions. I love the occasional passive sentence. I love the half-page descriptions of sunsets draining the sky of color, the feeling of the wind whispering to you, the churning of a train’s wheels on smooth steel tracks, and whatever else I haven’t experienced again on the pages of a book.

Just as long as an Argentine cooks it.

T-ball = Fiery competition.

You could pass someone on the street, and not even realize that they are the greatest T-ball coach to grace this earth.

Thats what i tell myself, because i would expect if it were not true, throngs of admirers would be suffocating me with plaques, keys to the city and trophies that you have to lift with both hands. I feel that i was that much of a success as a T-ball coach.

It was also the funnest thing ever. It was a bunch of 5 year olds (only a couple of them are pictured here, but they're some of my favorites.) who were learning how to play. I was in charge of teaching them how to bat, specifically, but we all kinda did everything. They would say the funniest things, including calling me "teacher," or saying, "you're my favorite coach in town. I LIKE you." (girl, emma, farthest to the left) or, "coach, my hand is sweaty."

Now that T-ball is through, summer has been a lot of work and a lot of LSAT. The LSAT is like a mighty bronco, that... nevermind. It's tough, but it doesn't seem unbeatable.

In between doing all that, i've done some cool stuff this summer. Like bike riding, hiking, learning how to play tennis, watching fireworks, seeing a destruction derby, and some other stuff that's not coming to my mind right now. Anyways, it really has been a while, and i thought i needed to jump back on the horse, even if it's a little thing.

Never intimidated, getting goals accomplished

My article got published. This is good, because as I was looking at it, I haven't really done anything to put on an application for a while. After 5 or 6 years, being captain and MVP of the water polo team just doesn't seem to really have the clout it used to. Also, on the online addition of the article, it drew quite a response. There is one kid though, by the alias of Steve, who is hell-bent on discrediting it. I am a little on edge every time I meet a new steve now in life. Or perhaps it's a friend- et tu, blake? Anyways, it was a kick in the pants to see it be published.

Also, to bolster that hypothetical application, I started to become more great hearted and noble. That is, I signed up to tutor a 12 year old kid how to read. He can already read, it's just that he's behind the level he should be at, so I go to this senior center twice a week to help him out. Thankfully, there's a routine and materials so I kinda feel like I know what I'm doing. It's funny, but even though I started out doing it just so I could throw something on a resume, I'm enjoying it a lot. I think about how I can help him out when I'm not even there. Usually, I'm conceiving ways I can get him to do a particular thing better. My latest struggle was getting him to sit up straight when he writes, because his penmanship struggles. I would try telling him to do it, but that wasn't really working, so then I decided to have him throw a pencil onto a notebook on the other side of the table. He sat upright and did it so it landed pretty close. Then I made him assume his usual writing position with his face in the crook of his elbow and throw it again. I was extremely pleased to see that he missed it pretty bad, because if it landed right on the notebook, I would've looked pretty foolish. Probably would've swatted it out of mid-air or something drastic like that. Today I wanted him to work on P's, so I told him that and made him write sentences like "Pippen powered up the photon pan." Subtle, I know.

As an intriguing side-note, the other day he said he 'had' to text his amiga back (generally I allow no cell-phone usage unless it's his mom) because she had just broken up with her boyfriend (he's 12, in 7th grade). I thought, "wow, this will probably be hilarious to figure more about, perhaps even worthy of my blog." (it was!) So, with all the sincerity I could muster, I inquired, "well, how long have they been going out?" "Like, 8 dates. She's crushed." "Ooooh, I can imagine." But he helped me imagine. "They were really serious, she was going to go on a skiing vacation with his family, but he just sent her a letter in the mail saying that he never wanted to see her again!"

WOOOOW! She was going on vacation with them? They went on dates outside of school? And what an outrageous break-up! . Had I even hit puberty by then? Does my kid I'm tutoring realize he has put himself in the friend zone and never stands a chance now?

I was talking it over later with AJ, and we decided that it's that stupid disney channel showing its teeth. My children will never watch that channel as long as I draw breath (If they ever claim they're bored, I'll just throw in "Greatest moments of BYU football history" and help give them a righteous upbringing). Because kids nowadays grow up watching 10 year olds on TV having 'relationships' and dramatic breakups, they think they must need them too. Also, cell phones for 12 year olds. So many things wrong with that in my mind. I was telling the kid I tutor that I don't want to give my future, attractive and brilliant children cell phones until they're 16. To which he looked at me with all the depth of expression his soul could muster, and warned me- They'll be losers! Oh well. Just as the prophets warned future generations of persecution, when my children find this, let them know- you'll be losers.

Another thing, besides trying to get good grades, that I did for resume building was intern at a law firm. Also, I wanted to see more about law before suffocating in debt trying to get a degree. It, too, turned out to be way interesting to me. The guy who I 'worked' for ('twas naught but an unpaid internship) turned out to be this really chill 31 year old, and every time I'd go into the office we would just sit and talk for a half hour or so about law or BYU football. And he also gave me some significant stuff to do so that I'd get a good feel for it. He even took me over to his house to eat dinner with him and his family. Anyways, I was a bit sad that I wouldn't be doing that next semester.

As for my love life, well, BYU only has the Las Vegas bowl and then it will be another lonely 8 months until it starts up again. I was there to see a righteous victory over Utah though. The Utes made a huge comeback in the 4th quarter to force overtime, but were further plagued by the fact by the fact that they hadn't really made it into the inzone and had kicked about 30 field goals. So it came to a 3rd down for the Lord's university, and Hall threw a bullet to George, who shook off defenders to run alone into the inzone. I was on the second row and was able to jump on the field and join in the celebrating pretty quick.

The Magnus Corpus

I wrote this recently, we'll see if it ever gets published... I think it might be the best thing i've written.

On May 22nd, 1856, after expressing to Senator Charles Sumner that he thoroughly disapproved of his recent address, Senator Preston Brooks took hold of his thick cane and began to mercilessly beat Mr. Sumner about the head until his cane broke and Mr. Sumner lay unconscious. Doubtless, since that time the number of cane beatings in the U.S. Senate has sharply declined, but it seems that some of the vocal leaders of Conservatism are clamoring for a return to such behavior. These men and women, who work to polarize all who will listen to them, are undermining the respectability of conservative reasoning at a time when the underrepresented right is rising up to combat a number of liberal agenda items. If real change is to occur, the canes need to be put away, and the zero-sum thinking needs to give way to discussion and understanding.

As mentioned, it is not scholars and intellectuals leading the masses in this grassroots movement. Although their ideas are carefully penned and widely disseminated, they are largely ignored. Instead, the majority of conservative America has been swept away by the more conspicuous voices of the right; that is, the pundits who jockey for popularity by taking ever more divisive and inflammatory stances. They have disastrously boiled an entire ideology down to nothing more than catchy slogans, attacks, and derisive commentary, which are then parroted by those who listen to them. So it is that “the news” of yesteryear has been replaced by a face, red with anger, shrieking about the injustice and illegality of the latest ploy of the amoral left. The goals of these critics are not open debate and an exchange of ideas. Rather, their purpose is to establish t hat only their ideas can be accepted by a rational mind and that those who think otherwise should be ridiculed.

Regrettably, recent news has shown that this petty behavior is not only confined to the Rush Limbaughs, Glenn Becks and Sean Hannitys of this world. During a recent address in front of a joint session of congress, President Obama had a professional lawmaker scream at him during his speech, saying, “That’s a lie!” and, “Not true!” among other unprecedented interjections. As if it was not shameful enough to scream during a speech, congressional protocol was also breached w hen laughter met President Obama's discourse and a congressman mocking his assertions made scornful signs to hold up for all to see. Thankfully, he didn’t take a cane to work that day.

Yet when these actions are considered, it is apparent that they are no more than an echo of their constituents. The media was recently set ablaze when conservatives flooded town hall meetings to shout down members of Congress debating health care. They were so effective in strangling dialogue that some of these meetings had to be canceled or delayed. This behavior surely is strongly correlated to the immense popularity of the pseudo political pundits and their outlandish behavior. After being saturated with the belligerent attitudes of these commentators long enough, it is only natural that their mode of conduct would soon be imitated. Now, even though this type of behavior will certainly command the attention of media outlets, real protest must be carried out in a more civilized way if any type of change is to effectively sweep the nation.

So, as one possible remedy to the current situation, those who are Republican could consider the positive points of the Democrats. Despite what Mr. Limbaugh likely thinks, there are many good ideas supported by the other party. By becoming more open, it is likely that the Republican Party would attract more votes and regain power in Washington. To those who think this is just a hopeless fantasy, think of the success of George W. Bush in propagating compassionate conservatism, or, in other words, conservatism that adopts various liberal goals.

An even more electrifying idea to change the nature of the current debate would be to turn off the television and read the news. There is something to be said about reading the news instead of watching it. The careful presentation of a written article invites more thoughtful consideration of what is being presented, and often causes the readers to form their own opinion instead of passively adopting the outlook of the person who is presenting it. Simply, conservative America needs to begin to choose informative over inflammatory news.

Now while reading the news, one may come to dislike certain actions of the government or a political party, and this is acceptable. A natural byproduct of the two party system we have is dissension, and it is healthy for our nation. It can, and should, then be manifested in the form of petitions, articles, marches, rallies and letters to members of congress. Or voting! Perhaps then, with a bit of luck and a great deal less sensationalism, the conservative movement can have some lasting effect. We can then save shouting at the other side for college football games, where it belongs.