There's always a balance in things; for every Berkeley, there is a Provo, for every game of football, there's about 12 episodes of "Project Runway" and "Glee." And for every good movie, there's about three that contain a line of dialogue akin to this gem from Transformers 2- "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!"
And then there's beards and "fun" clothing.
This might seem like a pretty arbitrary connection. But look into it. If you're a non-beard-grower (a woman) think about the last time you bought something and your friends said "That is so FUN!" Now think about the thing you bought—chances are, it was a smidgen garish, probably shiny, and perhaps not even that flattering. But it's entertaining because you're pushing things with it, or maybe it's stating in some obscure, not-so-apparent-to-everyone-else-but-makes-tons-of-sense-in-your-mind way, who you are.
Now this is the same exact thing that happens with a beard. If women, through some petrifying twist in the creation story, grew beards, they would say something like, "Rosie O' Donnell, that beard is so FUN!"
The beard fills that same role the "fun" clothing does. Women generally hate it, it's scratchy and irritating to grow, and more often than not, it just doesn't look like any of the beards you see on "The Lord Of The Rings." Its allure is inexplicable, but at the same time irresistible. Even if it is some ugly scraggly thing. See below.
